grammar - Differences between listing particles と, や and に

Consider the following:

• 
  

  A, B and C came:

  
  
  
  
  1. AとBとCが来た
  
  
  
  2. AやBやCが来た
  
  
  3. AにBにCが来た
  
  
  
  

What do I need to consider when deciding which of the three (と, や, に) to use?

I think a large portion is determined by the type of verb used. I shall generalise into two groups:

1. Reciprocal type - marry; meet; be similar


2. Non-reciprocal type - see; walk; be interesting

Ambiguity may result from using listing particles with reciprocal type verbs:

• 
  

  AとBが結婚した (Ambiguous)

  
  
  
  
  • 
    

    A and B got married (to each other)

    
    
  
  
  • 
    
    

    A and B got married (independent instances)

    
    
  
  
  
  


• 
  

  AやBが結婚した (Not ambiguous)

  
  
  
  
  • A and B got married (independent instances among others (example-giving nuance of や))
  
  
  
  

But for these cases:

• AにBが結婚した


• AにBが会った

Can they receive listing interpretation similar to AにBにCが来た?
Will に be forced to be dative?

How about when the sentence is rearranged to:

• BがAに結婚した


• BがAに会った

Can this receive a listing interpretation?
Will に be forced to be dative?

Answer

I have the feeling that に under the relevant usage is used adverbially and implies "remembering the item one after another while listing", and I think it requires at least three items. Two is too short for remembering one after another.

　AにBにCが来た
?* AにBが来た

　AにBにCが結婚した
?* AにBが結婚した

結婚する cannot have a dative argument, and I guess the structure of AにBにCが結婚する is Aに[Bに[Cが結婚する]] "C will get married, in addition to B, in addition to A", rather than [AにBにCが]結婚する, so it cannot have the reciprocal interpretation. BがAに結婚した is completely ungrammatical.

If you wanted to do a listing interpretation for 会う, which takes a dative argument, then you can do this:

AにBに(それに)CがDに会った (A, B: listing interpretation, D: dative)
'A, and B, and also C, met D'
AがBにCに(それに)Dに会った　(B, C: listing interpretation, D: dative)
'A met B, and C, and also D'