hashkafah philosophy - Is tearing the hymen something that should be avoided

I have always heard that tearing the hymen by beilas mitzva (first intercourse with a virgin after marriage) is a good thing and it should not be avoided (maybe to tear it is the mitzvah as it seems to me from shulchan aruch harav 280.3). (Though to be fair I did not know that it was possible to avoid it.)

@Aaron is claiming that tearing the hymen can and should be avoided. (As any other damages to a Jewish body)

Is @Aaron right?

I'm looking for sourced Jewish views on the subject.